Facebook & unintentional outings to family members ........

With Facebook now the most widely used social networking site by Jamaican LGBTQI people these days there was sooner or later bound to be some anancyism turning up at some point as we are a people good for that kind of crap. With no clear rules by Facebook as to the use of the account holder having a real photograph of themselves on their profiles dishonest individuals have been running rough shod with photos of buffed man or provocative male images with some intended to lure unsuspecting MSMs in particular who in a short time arrange hook ups while not even verifying and developing any long term e-lationship or chat before the face to face or supposed sexual encounter.

Men who have sex with men are not the only ones who have been duped into this practice with disastrous and near death results.

Such was the introduction to a previous post in June of 2011 where I tried to raise awareness of the fast changing LGBT social scene and the use of social media in hookups and ones own safety from gay for pay predators and fake same gender love seeking folks who have other motives in mind including robbery.

Now we have the issue of family members inadvertently being exposed to persons private socialization in as far as privacy is concerned based on ones settings on their profiles. While many LGBT people in Jamaica are making use of improved free medium to keep in touch and to meet new "friends" and the latest sharing of information the less tech savy user may find themselves in problems with family members and siblings if after when they peruse information and "likes" on the respective profile at the time. Such was the case with this latest episode that has led to this post along with other reports of persons being "discovered" probably family members think they know their relatives until, FACEBOOK!

A twenty odd year old has found himself estranged from his father after they recently reconnected as he resides overseas and was absent from the young MSM's life for some time. His father soon recognised that he was apart of an LGBT group on Facebook as his profile settings was left "open" to reflect where he is active etc, a tersely worded email soon was sent by the curious elder who inquired if he was apart of a gay movement and if he realised that homosexuality was wrong in God's sight?

They have not spoken with the regularity they used to since and this has caused some distress to the young MSM so much so that he removed himself from all gay related groups and pages so as to present a "clean" image to his father who by the way is still on his friends list but hardly responds to pokes and messages sent by his son. I tried suggesting he find a counselor to deal with this issue as I am not qualified for that deep level issue but there are other stories similar to this coming to the fore since this revelation was made in one of the groups just before he removed himself from it. Same gender loving sisters in that group have also shared some concerns and one simply said she closed her old profile and created a new one. The young man had reached out to influentials but as usual we do not have the needed resources and the main stay systems hardly address issues like this so what to do? At best I suggest the following settings under the privacy and account setting tabs to avoid conflicts or unintentional outings. On your profile page beside home (top right hand corner) click the drop down arrow:

Go to: 

Apps and Websites
Control what gets shared with apps, games and websites........ then select Edit Settings

then go to:

How people bring your info to apps they use
People who can see your info can bring it with them when they use apps. Use this setting to control the categories of information people can bring with them......then edit settings .... the following should appear 

Then deselect the persons or relationships etc you want to be seen or not to be seen, the groups etc you are in. That is of course if you had set up a family and relationship group apart from your friends list.

Also on ones profile one can customize the viewers of posts at any given time, it might take a few more seconds to do so but it is worth the wait, that is also of course if you are willing to go through all that.

some control can also be here as well:

select the last option and you can literally type a name or names of persons who may want to block generally while using the above to control what goes fully public or to friends only etc.

Some previous safety suggestions that appeared on that June 2011 entry on hookups are posted are below:

Please bear in mind the following if you or someone you know is planning a face to face meeting following an continued e-lationship

1. Make sure the profiler has a real photo or photos of themselves
2. Ask questions about them, get to know as much as possible as timely as possible
3. Establish telephone contact as early as you see fit
4. Listen for any change in mood, tone or information shared over time
5. Keep the e-lationship going with regular interactions to pick up any changes as well
6. Archive or save suspicious exchanges as you see fit
7. Avoid instant hook-ups without first developing some rapport in the e-lationship
8. Tell a close friend where and when you are going to meet an online friend for the first time
9. Develop a trend in communicating for e.g same times if possible per day for chatting
10. If you decide to meet find an open public area as best as possible, and decide how to behave in that space to avoid any unsuspecting onlookers who may deduce it's a gay link up
11. Decide on clothing and colour or change colours previously agreed to if you are not sure of the individual
12. Study your surroundings when there and get there early (as this young man did)
13. Plan your possible route(s) of escape if necessary
14. Have a weapon of some sort or maze that can create a distraction then escape as quickly as possible
15. Have a trusted friend accompany you if possible and have them away from the actual meeting spot but make sure they can see you
16. Make a call if needed to the person(s) who followed you and keep the line open so they can hear your conversation and call for help elsewhere if needed
17. Set your Facebook profile to "Friends Only" as under "Friends of Friends" all other persons can see you
18. If you are in a group and are active you may turn off the feature where non friends can send you a message or see you photos
19. Use only a sensible face picture as your profile thumbnail so as to avoid stalking

The problematic adding of persons to groups without any restrictive action or vetting that action is also of concern as that has also caused some accidents for persons as sometimes especially if the group is an open one ones activity may appear on their wall viewable by all on their friend's list.

Tinker with the settings and see the ones that suit you best if you do not want to be exposed. Just some suggestions friends.

If all else fails just open another account that they do not know of and do your business.

Peace and tolerance

H

Warning!: Fake Facebook pics and hookup dangers

With Facebook now the most widely used social networking site by Jamaican LGBTQI people these days there was sooner or later bound to be some anancyism turning up at some point as we are a people good for that kind of crap. With no clear rules by Facebook as to the use of the account holder having a real photograph of themselves on their profiles dishonest individuals have been running rough shod with photos of buffed man or provocative male images with some intended to lure unsuspecting MSMs in particular who in a short time arrange hook ups while not even verifying and developing any long term e-lationship or chat before the face to face or supposed sexual encounter.

Men who have sex with men are not the only ones who have been duped into this practice with disastrous and near death results.

Two women who suffered the "corrective rape discipline" that some men think they have a right to do in order to straighten them out after they were lured to meet a "lesbian" who has set up a profile with a female body (head capped) on a particular site run by a Jamaican as well, unbeknownst to the owner it happened with even CISOCA Centre for investigations of Sexual Offences and Child Abuse getting involved as they tracked the rape ring which led them to central Jamaica where one of the master minds was accosted. He got 29 years in total as he was on bail and had previous charges of rape as well answering in the courts. Another was arrested at the time but the case fizzled as the victims refused to come forward to testify fearing reprisals. CISOCA had seized several computers, printed copies of online message chats both on MSN and the particular networking site as well. Archived copies of the chat were also preserved by one of the victims as well which was a smart move on her part.

Thankfully the site's admin has since implemented new security features where members only can now log on with new members needing referencing or verification from existing ones. Both victims met a so called brother of the girl who took them to a fake address where his cronies were laying in wait armed with guns.

See more HERE

and HERE

Serial rapist gets 29 years in rape ring, Look out my sisters.

This particular MSM case of which this post revolves happened on June 11 and comes from a young man who met someone on the popular Facebook site who had a photo of an exposed torso male. Believing the photo was that of the person behind the messages and comments between the two over a three week period the profile's holder invited the young man to be in a face to face meeting at a point they agreed on. The date arrived but just before the meeting was to take place the profiler changed the point of contact via a phone call and in hind sight the young man said he heard rough voices in the background speaking about what they should "do to him" but he thought it was something else or not him. He went to the area near a plaza just off a main road for the proverbial hook up wearing the exact colours he had indicated to the profiler but noticed when he arrived some twenty minutes prior to the set time that a car was near the area parked seemingly with passengers aboard as the body of vehicle was lower than normal and the engines were running, he dismissed any unsuspecting issue as he thought that due to the summer' heat the occupants were using the engines to power the air conditioning.

Soon after he walked to the exact spot on the piazza where two men alighted and gave chase but though young he was not a fool as he had planned his escape route should the need arise.

This however was not before the men shouted the usual curse words "battyman" etc as their attempts were thwarted, it is not yet clear though if the men were homophobic or they wanted to gang rape the young man, he surmises the latter as he said after passing the photo around he was told it is a regular practice by this profiler to lure men for rough sex usually under duress.

Thankfully this one ended the way it did but for the men to use curse despite the young man's strong suspicion of gay on gay violence is a glaring sign how easily persons will cloak themselves with homophobic disguises to carry out their dirty deeds. Homophobes can well be posing as gay too or DL persons who are struggling with their own feelings of guilt and shame also can exercise this kind of revenge attacks as well to purge themselves of said guilt.

Some suggestions:

Please bear in mind the following if you or someone you know is planning a face to face meeting following an continued e-lationship

1. Make sure the profiler has a real photo or photos of themselves
2. Ask questions about them, get to know as much as possible as timely as possible
3. Establish telephone contact as early as you see fit
4. Listen for any change in mood, tone or information shared over time
5. Keep the e-lationship going with regular interactions to pick up any changes as well
6. Archive or save suspicious exchanges as you see fit
7. Avoid instant hook-ups without first developing some rapport in the e-lationship
8. Tell a close friend where and when you are going to meet an online friend for the first time
9. Develop a trend in communicating for e.g same times if possible per day for chatting
10. If you decide to meet find an open public area as best as possible, and decide how to behave in that space to avoid any unsuspecting onlookers who may deduce it's a gay link up
11. Decide on clothing and colour or change colours previously agreed to if you are not sure of the individual
12. Study your surroundings when there and get there early (as this young man did)
13. Plan your possible route(s) of escape if necessary
14. Have a weapon of some sort or maze that can create a distraction then escape as quickly as possible
15. Have a trusted friend accompany you if possible and have them away from the actual meeting spot but make sure they can see you
16. Make a call if needed to the person(s) who followed you and keep the line open so they can hear your conversation and call for help elsewhere if needed
17. Set your Facebook profile to "Friends Only" as under "Friends of Friends" all other persons can see you
18. If you are in a group and are active you may turn off the feature where non friends can send you a message or see you photos
19. Use only a sensible face picture as your profile thumbnail so as to avoid stalking

These are just some of what you can do as suggested by me, do more online research on your own as well.

Here is a previous suggested checklist I had done for the same gender loving sisters when I had written on their side of things:

"This is a stern warning to my lesbian sisters out there please be mindful of the persons and social networks you become associated with, here are some tips I think that are useful:
1) Check the sites and chat rooms to make sure their privacy settings allow for scrutiny of members and their profiles.
2) Be ware of the amount of pictures of yourself you may upload to these open sites,
3) If one intends to meet or hook-up with potential persons from these networks do so in a public place for your own protection
4) Develop a rapport with online chatters or friends before meeting them; get to know the chatter by asking probing questions
5) Use a pseudonym where necessary and ask the administrators to verify members where necessary
6) Use the privacy settings available on your respective social networks so that not everyone can see your page if needed
7) When in doubt just block a suspicious profile user if one if not satisfied that the person is legitimate
8) Be alert to the number of members in your page and try to discern suspicious activity
9) If in doubt leave the respective page and delete all content of you including photos
10) Look for pages that offer privacy settings that are suitable for you protection, pages on NING, Facebook and MySpace offer great privacy settings that can make your profile hidden from all other members
11) Network with those you know so they can verify other folks and tread carefully online."

As I say on my sister blog GLBTQ Jamaica - "Be Vigilant, Be Safe" in your e-lations.

Peace and tolerance

H