"Tell Me Pastor" inconsistencies

Find it, retrieve it and call it … as we look at discusions in the public domain about matters relating to GLBTQI issues. Here the supposed female letter writer says she basically found out her husband is same sex attracted as well. On December 6th however a similar letter appeared in the Star as well about a woman who found out her man is supposedly having same sex relations while with her, coincidence or just the continued sensationalism from the Jamaica Star so as to sell papers?

The December 6th piece is available here from GLBTQ Jamaica Wordpress edition entitled "Tell Me Pastor" on bisexuality. Although we have gotten used to the pattern I think it is important to continue to track and point out these infractions coupled with the glaring inconsistencies at times as there are some folks who read Pastor Dumas's columns, blogs and follow his radio show ardently.

Pastor Dumas the regular radio talk show host, Psychologist and Star News Tell Me Pastor columnist for once asks some sensible questions in the beginning of his response and also suggests the letter writer must decide whether she wants to continue the relationship. Ironically the December 6th letter which was similar in nature and his subsequent response Pastor was noticeably terse with his response and referred as usual to the abomination clauses of the Bible to justify his opinion that homosexuality is wrong, I guess his justification maybe that the December 6th letter writer was not in a marriage and was more a common law union without children while this writer has been married and has three children for him and her late knowledge of his same sex attractions.

Why the two different responses, why throw the good book at one and then a more clinical and politically correct suggestions for counseling for the other?

Here is todays entry and his response, please view both pieces and compare the two, don't just take my word for it.

Peace and tolerance

H

Letter writer:

Dear Pastor,

I have heard stories about women becoming lesbians, but how would you counsel a wife who has found out her husband was homosexual - after she had three children for him?

A.G.,

Pastor's response:

Dear A.G.,

In counselling, there is a direct and indirect approach to problems. There are times when the counsellor should say, "This is what you ought to do." But there are times when the counsellor should allow the 'counselee' to arrive at his or her decision. But the counsellor should give guidance.

If you and your husband have had three children together and you have recently found out he is a homosexual, he has been living a lie and perhaps putting your health at risk. Evidently, he has a preference. What is his preference? Is it you as his wife or his male partner(s)?

Both of you should go to see a psychologist after you have discussed the matter between yourselves. You have to decide whether you are willing to tolerate this man and to share him with another man. How will you relate to your husband for the rest of your life? Should you have him as a lover or a friend or just the father of your children? Is divorce a good alternative? Can your life ever be normal again?

If the children are young and do not understand what is happening between both of you, can both of you live in the same house and don't cohabit? Would he be allowed to bring his male partner in the house? If you believe you should divorce this man, can you pay your own bills? Your life will never be the same. Because this man has disrespected you, the only way you can keep your sanity is to pray for him every day. But even if you were to forgive him, it does not mean you would have to remain with him as his wife. You will need all the professional help you can get.

I wish you well, and you have my prayers.

Pastor